(Cover) - EN Showbiz - Lily Allen has spoken of how suffering a miscarriage changed her as a person.
The 25-year-old singer experienced tragedy last November when she suffered a miscarriage with the baby she had been carrying for six months, which would have been her and now-fianc Sam Coopers first child together.
In footage released from a revealing new programme, Lily is seen discussing the traumatic ordeal, admitting the experience has had a profound effect on her.
"It was a really long battle - and I think that kind of thing changes a person," she said.
The series called Lily Allen: From Riches To Rags - follows Lily and sister Sarah Owen as they launched their London fashion boutique Lucy in Disguise last year, and other released footage shows Lily admitting she used to be bulimic.
The gorgeous star was her most slender when she launched her second album Its Not Me, Its You in 2009, and Lily admits she feels ashamed of the way she lost weight.
There was a point last summer [2009] where I had an eating disorder, I used to vomit after meals, she explains in the footage which was shot last year. It's not something I'm proud of.
"But, I tell you what, a lot of people came up to me telling me how great I looked and I'd be on the cover of every magazine.
"I thought I looked good and it was great to be able to try on clothes and feel a million dollars. But I wasn't happy, I really wasn't.
"I would love to be the skinniest minniest person in the world but I can't do that without being unhappy - I like food."
Lily also discusses her well-documented decision to take a break from the world of performing in the programme. The star explained she has no desire to be appearing on the stage when shes in her 50s.
People who are famous and successful and live in this mad world tend to die really early, or kill themselves, or die in a drugs overdose. Id rather not so I figure I will go and eat, she said.
My idea of hell would be doing this in 25 years time. I dont want to be like Madonna look at her, shes mental.
No offence but that is not what drives me. I want to get married and have kids and make sandwiches cutting the crusts off.
The three-part series is due to start on March 15 and will be shown on Britains Channel Four. (C) Cover Media